This week I have had a little free time, and among the things I have been able to do was watch one of the 2024 movies that I had reserved to enjoy by myself.
Alone, because I had read his review, and I knew the feelings that could reappear while I would be living the film as if in my own flesh, perhaps, a way that I found many years ago to return to the past by reanalyzing myself again and again, but it is incredible how it changes the perspective, even if you are shaken by a gush of emotions.
The truth is that the film Past Lives did not leave me fragile or with that vague feeling of nostalgia, but rather with a reinforcement of understanding about the decisions I have made in my life.
This is my entry for the commitments that our host @galenkp prepares for us every weekend.
Has your heart been broken? What happened, why, and how did you deal with it? Use your own photos.
As I write I laugh, I laugh remembering a time when it looked like a very thin piece of paper, almost without lines, being whipped by the wind.
I don't like to talk about love.
I'm not good at talking about my loves, or about one, although we almost always remember the first one, due to the size of its intensity, and the things we discover for the first time.
X-rays of my heart...in case you want to know my insides...😅.
Who hasn't had their heart broken? To everyone, undoubtedly,although I also made some suffer there some there, because the opportunities are for everyone equally, right? 😂
But I hated this first love for many years, more than 15, the energy I dedicated to it was too much and useless. They say that this is a poorly managed feeling, but that is how most of us reason.
When I was 15 years old I fell in love with a 16-year-old young man. We lived an intense and beautiful relationship for more than 7 years, but as we grew and matured, each one's personal vision of life changed, and the way of achieving goals also changed...
One thing led to another, betrayals, lies, rudeness, and lack of respect... but the worst thing was that I was so blind that I didn't know how to appreciate it, and I had a hard time understanding what was happening while I struggled to rebuild myself inside.
I remember a long time immersed in grief.
The biggest problem with being in this state is the fragility in which you find yourself, and believing that "one nail pulls out another" is a huge mistake, because you will never find what you think you are looking for. I imagine it is like wanting to be always intoxicated, fleeing from reality, so that the emptiness does not become deeper and more lonely.
This was a very fun moment with a friend...we laughed a lot.
Loneliness is a state of perception, and restoration, as long as you agree to be okay with it.
Fighting against your feelings, even if you know that it is only emotional dependence, is a pitched battle like the oldest in the world because attachment is a thousand-headed demon.
It took me a world to understand that life went on, and I lost the opportunity to enjoy moments with colleagues and friends who extended their hands to me to get me away from that sick circle in my mind: the inflicted sadness, a place from which I did not want to leave.
A bug in his old pajamas that sleeps next to me.
Luckily, my best warriors (friends) did not get bored of me, and continued to support me and diversify my world...it takes work for some to heal.
After experiencing some more important and transcendental events, I looked back, and I understood that I was the only one who left the relationship in an epic and surreal place, but the worst, idealized and perfect, a hard moment to recognize that "that pain It wasn't worth it."
Don't live in lies...at least not for long...😶
The fact is that I finally understood, I understood that the lack of a purpose in my life affected me, not having something that absorbed me, committed me, and excited me made me remain in a murky and meaningless limbo thinking about what would have been if .....?
Of course, in distance and time you understand that people come closer or farther away if the points and interests in common are enough to continue hand in hand through this world, despite all your insecurities and your fears.
Love is a hurricane of emotions.
The loves of the past must be archived in a place in the heart where peace and calm prevail... because we inevitably have to live with them until reason dictates, we could even classify them by genres of fiction, horror, fantasy, drama, comedy...romance?...futuristic?...and suspense?...😅.
I am happy being who I am.
One of the reviews I read about the film I was telling you about at the beginning brought me very important revelations for us, adults who are still trying, at this age, to understand situations from the past...«What is the form of true love? ? The one that is born from the depths of the heart, that is full of passion, or the one that is born from tranquility, stability and that is found in the person that allows you to achieve your life goals and you help them...."
Always very grateful for your reading.
The text is entirely my own
All photos are my property
Translation done with Deep Translate, free version.
