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Although I have refused to look back at last year and each encounter and challenge I had, while most of them brought me down to my knees and made me wish I had made better decisions or plans to have avoided such outcomes, most of them met me unprepared and in a place I never expected.
Last year, I had my share of friendships gone sour perhaps I thought it was a friendship because I saw them as one but for the first time in my life, I was afraid of the other person due to their actions, I learned that there are exceptions to people and things and I must create boundaries and not be too careless about my life and should learn to keep most people at arm's length, because that is where they belong.
Last year, I had so many challenges ranging from my mum's health issue that lasted throughout the year to my trying to survive as a student and as a sole provider to myself and my mum, at a point, I found myself drowning in my mind and becoming a shadow of myself and was afraid of any call from home because I didn't want to hear bad news.
I made a lot of mistakes, I had regrets, fell off, and even gave up, among all the worst mistakes I made was just going with the flow, I had no plan, no goal, and was just taking anything and everything life threw at me and because I had no plans or goal, I had no specific thing to put my focus on, or maybe I had something in my head but because of my mum's health which took the greater part of last year, I lost focus and just made whatever decisions that I could without thinking because they seemed urgent and a do or die affair.
Regardless, last year, was a beautiful piece of a rollercoaster year, I can remember, that at every point I needed a financial crisis, I was able to pull through even though it was draining, I had friends who were there to encourage me and make me see the bright side of everything even though I was at the stage of giving up.
I am always one to sit back and do a thorough analysis of myself and situations, that is why I most times get to realize the mistakes, errors, and what I should have done or shouldn't have done, thanks to being a hard thinker, so this year, I have done my analysis and I have come to a resolution.
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Last year, I was enveloped with losing my mum, reasons why I focused more on her than on myself like I have always done, so this year, I am going to be focusing on my life more, I am going to be doing a lot of personal development to better myself, either to aid me in making more finances or just for knowledge sake but I am going to be concentrating on myself more.
Last year, I gave and made too many excuses to people who hurt me and thought it was fine to do that because I let them, this year, I am going to not make excuses for anyone, I am not going to let anyone be friends with me just because of what they can get from me, I am going to create boundaries and put people where they belong and draw the lines, I am not going to make the mistake of making an acquaintance, a close friend.
Last year, I was not conscious and was not goal-oriented financially, and personally development, so at the year ended, I had nothing to show for the year, so this year, I making a financial goal, and personal development goal to improve myself and make the best of this year. I am going to get myself involved in the best way that I can to be productive myself because I need to build myself more both personally and financially.
Last year, I was worried about nothing and everything, and as such, it affected my health, this year, j am making a conscious step to train my heart to not worry about everything, do what I can do, and take care of my health, not to spend too much money on my health, so I don't end up having a reoccurring breakdown.
This year, I am also making a conscious step of posting my Hive account seriously as I have not been consistent and constant with making post, I have written down and made a schedule of how to make time in between my busy offline life to have time for my Hive account and be engaged as well.
I have never been afraid of a new year like I am for this particular year, not because I do not know or have an idea of what my plans or goals are for the year but because I am scared of what or how it would look like and the weight of what it would look, i am afraid of failing, I am afraid of getting to start and not being able to finish it. I am afraid of the unknown, but I hope that it is going to be the best.
This is my entry to the Day 1 #Januaryinleo prompt, and here is the link to participate).
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