RE: Red flags in a relationship

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RE: Red flags in a relationship

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depressedfuckup in LeoFinance • 4 months ago

Great article tough, Burly:)

Although, I think some of the tips you've pointed might be a bit misleading, especially if context and individuality is not carefully considered when judging based on these observations. I get that you're speaking from a general perspective, so that probably makes sense. People just have a habit of taking everything they come accross on the internet to apply to their specific situations, even though there might be some differences and factors unaccounted for in the perspectives of the authors of the works they're reading or consuming.

Wow that was super vague. hehe

4 months ago in LeoFinance by depressedfuckup

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burlarj 4 months ago

uhm ok i have three questions for you, and u will some of the tips are misleading based on your answer

can you date someone ashamed of you?
will you be happy in a relationship that your partner finds your touch and kiss uncomfortable?
Will you be happy in a relationship where your partner leaves your message pending for hours even though they are online? it is not once but something that happens every time but they end up giving good excuses in all those times

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depressedfuckup 4 months ago

I’m glad that you’re asking these questions. Now I get to clarify somethings I fond problematic about the tips.

First, Your definition of “ashamed” is…Not everyone can date and show their partners off the same way. There might be circumstances preventing them from doing that.

For instance, last year, my girlfriend and I were staying together for a short while as I was working at a university premise. I couldn’t hold hands with her outside because outside was my work premise and I risked misunderstandings of wrong work conduct. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be seen holding hands with her or being love dovey outside because I was ashamed of her, but that my work restricted how I could act or behave in that environment we found ourself. I didn’t have a problem doing those same things in other environments. This is where context is important. Just because they don’t want to be seen with you at x doesn’t mean they don’t want to be with you or love you.

Secondly on the topic of of your partner finding kissing you uncomfortable, I don’t necessarily disagree with you there. I do think though that for things like this, people need to take it with a pinch of salt. Some people (as I already said) have a very high tendency of forcefully relating everything they’ve read on the internet with their circumstances. So if for instance, their partner has just had a series of bad days and hasn’t been as intimate as possible in terms of initiating or receiving sexual advancements like kisses, they automatically think “aha!” when they come across something like your post. I’m not sure if you’re getting what I’m saying.

Will you be happy in a relationship where your partner leaves your message pending for hours even though they are online? it is not once but something that happens every time but they end up giving good excuses in all those times

As for here, I think that as adults, we don’t have as much free time as we did to reply quickly to texts all the time. If they have a legit reason for responding to your messages after hours, I don’t see what the hassle is. Right now, I work a job where I’m not able to respond to texts or calls between 8am-6pm. It’s not that I don’t want to, I literally can’t. If I had a partner right now and I explained this, I would expect that you understand, because it’s not an excuse, but a legit reason for why I might not available during the day. That wouldn’t mean I didn’t love them. It just means I’m busy. And I know that cliché people always go on about “People make time for who they love”, but if we’re honest and realistic, in situations like this, exceptions have to be made. But since you don’t know what condition the people reading your post are in, for all you know, this might be the straw that breaks the camel back for them. This is all I’m saying.

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burlarj 4 months ago

Hmm Okay, I understand your points and you are right... your excuses are valid and your partner will definitely understand if you explain to her the same way you did here in case this causes an issue in your relationship... most people in love are very understandable but for your partner who loves you not to believe you anymore, it is because it is not your first time and their instinct is already giving them signs, my post is just an eye opener that their instinct is right xd

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depressedfuckup 4 months ago

Of course. I totally understand and agree with you. Nice one, Eagle :)

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