Hi!
I can only appreciate @gregscloud for introducing me to his KINDNESS on Hive, as a new community initiative. And, as I find kindness to be one of the top core behaviors that I value in anyone and in myself, I think this group is exactly what we also needed in Hive. We can only learn to appreciate others more, to have compassion, proactive care and a sense of complex belonging to this ecosystem, in a way.
Today, I want to write a few words about Kindness applied to children. Not because I have one, but because I have two younger sisters and I could test and analyze lots of things so far.
So, if this is something you'd like to read about, I kindly invite you to take a few moments to go through my post.
What does kindness mean for children?
Kindness means peace, patience, tolerance, generosity, and love for others. We can all possess or offer it, even from a young age. Kindness is reflected in each of us, and what sets us apart is education and free will. Kindness in children is a sensitive subject that every parent eager to raise a truly fulfilled child should address.
Some specialists say that genetic factors play an important role in children's behavior, and aggressive behavior is due to their nature and how they are raised by parents. On the other hand, there are cases where, even though children are raised in unfavorable environments, they do not adopt the attitude of their parents or guardians.
However, why are some children considered bad?
What makes us assert this, and what are the behaviors that hinder kindness in children?
Negative behaviors include:
Selfishness
Low tolerance towards certain situations
Indifference towards others
Reacting contrary to instructions given by parents, in various circumstances
Creating situations favorable to negative behavior, provoking other children
Aggressiveness in minor situations and spiteful expression
Aggressiveness towards animals
Targeting vulnerable others among fellow children
Desire to be in the center of attention
BUT...
What are the causes that affect kindness in children?
Lack of empathy
Some children do not recognize the emotions of others and do not act accordingly. Kindness in children involves emphasizing empathy towards those around them. More about empathy in children can be found in the dedicated article, about strategies for developing it in the process of educating children.
Egocentrism
It is natural in the early years of life, as it contributes to the development of the child's personality, after which it needs to be gradually removed through education to accept others in their environment. It increases with excessive attention from parents and is present in most cases with children who are only children. Kindness in children depends on how parents manage their dose of egocentrism.
Revenge
It is a mechanism triggered mainly due to pride. Daily, parents decide unpleasant things for children, such as brushing teeth, eating before dessert, bedtime, doing homework, etc. These often lead to the child's stubbornness and rebellious behavior, doing exactly the opposite.
Lack of parent-child communication
Communication is one of the most important aspects that help in the personal development of the child. He needs to be encouraged to cooperate with his parents in any situation. If you want your little one to be obedient and understand your decisions, talk openly with him about any subject and be understanding. When you forbid something, you must make him understand why you made that decision and what the consequences would have been if you hadn't intervened. Kindness in children depends a lot on how parents explain the situation.
Lack of live examples
It is inevitable to encounter unpleasant situations such as a wounded puppy or an elderly person struggling with shopping. Show your child that you can help, and he will follow you. Be the best example for him.
Family environment - vicious, negative, aggressive
Unfortunately, there are many families that disintegrate or in which parents are aggressive and critical towards each other or their children. This leads to the adoption of these behaviors by the little ones. The happiness of our children depends on how we cultivate love, compassion, and true kindness towards each other.
As parents, it is our duty to encourage children to learn values such as empathy, honesty, kindness, altruism, and provide them with the education they need to become the best version of themselves. So, we present below ways in which we can encourage kindness among children.
Here are 12 simple ways to encourage kindness in children:
Help your child define themselves in general and communicate openly with them about their own emotions, feelings, and experiences, developing the subject of kindness in children and what he believes about this topic.
Encourage them to be sociable, to know other children, as they need interpersonal relationships to confront new experiences and define their personality.
Encourage them to be generous, to give small gifts to others made with love or to bring moments of joy into the lives of friends and family members, without necessarily expecting anything in return. More about the concept of generosity in children can be found here.
The presence of models in their lives - present situations from your life where you have been kind to people and offered unconditional help. Kindness in children depends a lot on how we expose it to them, as parents.
Positive reinforcement through appreciation and compliments: stimulate the desire of the little one to act correctly in any situation. Reward them positively by giving compliments and make them feel truly appreciated.
Teach them about kindness through therapeutic stories that have a moral at the end, and the child will make the difference between right and wrong.
Teach them to be patient and to control themselves in different situations, for example when you can't buy them something. Make them understand why NOT and help them appreciate the things they already have. About patience in children and the ways in which it can be stimulated, you can read here.
Watch animated materials on the theme of kindness - like therapeutic stories, there are cartoons or short films with teachings. Watch such films together with your child before bedtime. See an example of educational materials here.
Embrace a positive attitude in any situation, be as optimistic as possible, and teach them that any obstacle can be overcome through hard work.
Teach your child to be involved in volunteer projects. Explain to the little one the many reasons why he should get involved in such projects and that any person can make a contribution to the world. Through this, he will feel useful and realize that his help matters.
Show your child that they should be kind not only to those around them but also to nature and teach them to be responsible towards the environment. Even a bottle left in the park on a bench, take it to the trash and give your child an example.
Recycling! Collect all plastic bottles, paper, glass, and take them to a recycling center, and donate the money collected to centers with sick children. This way, the little one will learn what a clean environment means to us, humans.
Children are people at the beginning of their journey, and parental education is the most important thing that guides and sets them off on the long journey of life. Therefore, we must self-educate ourselves as parents and try to control our negative emotions in their presence. Through patience, love, understanding, and communication, we will be able to raise a generation that may change the world.
Kindness in children is a value that must be strengthened with our help, as parents. In conclusion, a child will be kinder as they learn to accept and understand the needs of others.
I think this might be a candid way to view things. I've noticed most lack of kindness from childhood to adulthood is happening because trauma/lack of parental love/lack of empathy and more....But I don't want to get into these things.
I have came to the conclusion that kindness is one feature of a healthy society. Yes, mental and emotional health, that is.
And I am meeting and greeting this new group about Kindness in Hive with my open heart!
Thank you for reading!
With respect and care,
Zpek