Before, I'd feel a certain emotion when people were being called "jack of all trades" in my presence; it would feel like I was not into so many things, maybe like I was falling behind. I don't know, but at those moments, I wanted to be Jack even if the trade wasn't there. "Don't laugh".
Humans aren't expected to be good at everything; that is human nature, right? But then some people won't let us rest with the different things they are into, making us feel like we aren't serious with life. When I see such people, I always ensure to create a thin line between us because you can't come and make me feel less.
As a human, if you are good at everything, then something is wrong because I feel like everyone possesses certain flaws: "We aren't supposed to be perfect." What is the beauty there when we are all perfect without flaws? What happens to the saying that "there is beauty in imperfection".
Not being the perfect human that I am, I have some things that I'm not good at despite trying very hard, the only thing that I can do is to learn how to improve on those things, even if I won't be perfect at it because it is always right to have knowledge of certain things.
So what is that one thing that I'm not good at: well it is public speaking, I've always found it difficult to speak in public, I don't know if it happened in my childhood because during our childhood we were free like a bird that whenever we come back from school and one adult would call us and be like "come and read this" you would see us all excited and sometimes we lack ideas of the thing but then we just want to show off and say something.
Often, I ask myself, "How did I move from that to this?" but then, as I grew older, I started developing this fear of public speaking. I can remember back then in senior secondary school when we were told that "there would be a presentation the next day." I got home from school looking very strong, and nothing was wrong with me. But then, as the next day slowly approaches, I've started noticing certain things about my body.
I would notice my temperature getting high, thereby causing cold to envelop my whole body. So that day I won't go to school because of my supposed health condition that morning. I think as time went by, Mum started noticing that side of me, and whenever I complained of such body temperatures, she would literally walk me to school by holding my hand.
Then, when I got to school, I would join in doing whatever presentation was gonna held that day. I thought that my phobia of public speaking had stopped, but then I was wrong. I took it to the higher institution on my shoulders. In the higher institution, since my mother wasn't there with me forming those lies to avoid those situations would only make me feel like cheating myself and not improve on my public speaking. So, instead of cheating myself, I decided to learn and do it often.
Whenever there was a presentation, I didn't run away anymore; the only thing I would do was to go and carry out my research on the particular subject matter. And learn how I would come out in that crowd and carry out my presentation. Walking to the front of the entire class would make my legs vibrate. But then, the moment I held that document in my hands and opened my mouth to speak, I would become balanced and feel like nothing was happening.
Currently, I won't say I'm very good at public speaking, but what I can say is that "I've improved" compared to when I started. Besides, there is only room for improvement, so I have improved, and as the day goes by, I keep on improving.
Thanks for reading 🧡
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