I always try as much as I can not to judge a book by its cover. As far as you don’t know the other side of the story, you shouldn't be too quick to jump to conclusions. We live in a time where people try to hide their pain, sorrows, and anxieties behind a mask. I have been there many times. Months ago, I struggled to share my emotions with people. My friends complained saying, “why are we friends when you can't even share your emotions with us.” It wasn’t that I didn't want to; I just didn't know how to. I had always lived my life behind the mask, hiding my emotions behind a fake smile. Gradually, I started learning how to share my emotions with friends. One thing I have realized is that even the most jovial and friendly people go through a lot; they just don’t show it. “Everyone knows where the shoes pinches.” This idiom means that each person has differnt struggles, problems or challenges that they understand best themselves.
For today’s Hive Learners prompt, we are asked to discuss our anxieties. What are the things that is giving you serious anxiety at the moment and messing with your mental health. As I mentioned above, we all have different struggles, problems, and challenges. I used to think I could tackle my anxieties all alone. I mean, who needs people when you've got it all covered? Well, that is a wrong mentality. It is okay to want to tackle things on your own. It is okay to want to fight battles on your own. However, when it starts taking a toll on your mental health, then turn to friends and family for help. That doesn't make you weak or dependent, it means you are human.
Currently, one thing that is giving me anxiety and messing with my mental health is my final year project. In partial fulfillment of my degree, I have to write a project with 5 chapters on any literary (literature-related) topic of my choice. This struggle started last year when we were asked to choose our project topics and assigned a supervisor. Of course, I chose a topic that I knew would be easy to work with, but as fate would have it, they assigned me to one of the strictest supervisors in my department. My supervisor is brilliant, stern and unlike other supervisors, she takes her job seriously. While others would submit soft copies and wait for approval, we'd submit printed copies and have to present them to her. Currently, students under other supervisors have reached their 4th and final chapter while my fellow supervises and I are still battling with our second and third chapters.
Before I started writing the project, I thought I had it all covered. How hard could it be to research a particular topic and write? That's what I thought. I even drafted a plan for how I'd work on my project. Everything seemed alright, and nothing seemed likely to go wrong. I thought I could pull it off easily, but things are just getting more complex, and I don't even know what to do anymore. I keep saying, “I'll work on my project today,” and I won't end up working on it. Have I been lazy? Have I been procrastinating? Definitely not. Whenever I make plans to work on my project, new things just seem to get in the way. For example, last Monday, one of my lecturers recommended four books, and we had to read them before the next class.
Again, during the weekend, I thought nothing would stop me from working on my project. I had canceled plans with friends to focus on my project, but out of the blue, I got a call from my lecturer on Saturday morning, asking me to work on a mini project. I would have refused the contract if I had known that it would be something that would require much time and effort. But I realized that too late and couldn't go back. I started working on the project on Saturday morning. I also worked on it yesterday and I hope to get done with it today.
Honestly, I don't know how to overcome this problem. Well, I plan to work on my project this week; hopefully, things won't come out of the blue to mess things up.
Thanks for reading.
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