Unlike most people, I don’t find the act of sleeping easy. I don’t have a problem with falling asleep, I could be watching a movie and just sleep off, but even when I do sleep, it’s either I wake up every 2 hours or sleep for 5 hours and wake up feeling like I’d only slept 5 minutes. I didn’t even realize this until yesterday.
Yesterday afternoon, I was watching a movie, then I felt sleepy and decided to have an afternoon nap. I woke up after 1 hour feeling even more exhausted than before I slept.
That was when my mind started questioning if this is even normal and then I realized after thinking about it, that for the past one year, I’ve not been sleeping well, whenever I sleep, it’d feel as if my body is asleep but my brain is actively in the gym. My brain would be taking a tour all around the world, such that, even in my sleep, I’d be seeing stuff, incoherent things by the way, not real dreams.
I decided to speak to a friend about it. And somehow, I actually thought this was how everyone slept, especially we youths because you know, we’ve got a lot on our minds. I have experienced a complete state of sleep and rest in the past but because this new state had been going on for such a long time, my brain didn’t flag it that something could be wrong. It was in the conversation with my friend that I realized that, nuh-uh, I should be able to have a true sleep at least, once in a while else I’m going to breakdown.
I asked him,
“when you sleep, do you close your eyes and meet complete darkness? Like you know, actually sleeping or you’re asleep but it feels like your brain is not, you’re seeing stuff and practically feeling awake”
He replied saying, “the two happens. But the latter happens when you’re too tired or when you have a lot on your mind”
Then I told him about how I’ve been sleeping for the past one year.
He suggested that it may be because I have a lot on my mind and I responded, “every human on earth has things on their minds and it’s even worse for we as youths, because of the fear of the unknown, fear of the future that comes with newly navigating adulthood, it’s like I know where and who I want to be in life, but no idea how to get there, it’s even worse that I have no real stability in my life right now, everything is so volatile, yet, these things are not costing me my peace of mind, yeah sure, I think about them, but I don’t let them lay pressure on my head or mind because I know that life is meant to be figured out, everything will make sense eventually and all will be well.”
He then replied, “you think you have peace of mind but I think it’s optimism disguised as peace, nevertheless, try this tonight before you sleep, take a shower, wear a free cloth, something that’s free and light, drink water, and right before you sleep, be conscious of the thoughts in your head, if you find that your brain is in thoughts, that means that’s how you’ve been sleeping for the past one year and you didn’t even notice. So, tonight, I want you to notice and then free your head of any thought, make sure you keep your head free of thought till you fall asleep”
So, last night before bed, I did exactly as he had instructed and dare I say, this is the best sleep I’ve had in the past one year. I observed that indeed, my head was packed with things I wasn’t even consciously thinking about right before bed.
I had such a good sleep, I almost cried when I woke up because I’d not slept like that in a long while and I almost resorted to sleeping pills. I didn't exactly "sleep like a baby", but it was such a complete rest for me.
I know this newly found practice is not a ritual that promises me good sleep as from now on, but at least, I find comfort in the knowledge that I can now quiet the noises in my head, right before I go to bed or any situation even.
This is a happy discovery for me.
Thank you for reading my article, being my first post in this lovely community, it is good to be here! I hope I'm welcome? :)
