Money may not buy love, but it has the power to either protect it or poison it. Many marriages that started with dancing and laughter at the wedding reception are now drowning in silence, anger, and bitterness, not because of lack of love, but because of how money was handled.
Financial habits are like seeds: when planted daily, they grow into a harvest of either peace or pain. Some couples unknowingly water destructive financial behaviors until they choke their marriage. I have seen couples who loved each other deeply but couldn’t survive because of financial issues.
* Hiding Financial Information
Marriage thrives on trust. If one partner hides income, debts, or bank accounts, it’s like building a house on sand. Imagine a husband who hides a loan from his wife, only for debt collectors to storm the house one morning. The shock isn’t just financial; it’s emotional betrayal. Openness with money says, “We are in this together.” Secrets say, “You are on your own.”
* Overspending Without Consultation
Picture this: a wife discovers her husband bought an expensive gadget while school fees are still pending. Or a husband finds out his wife just spent half their savings on clothes without informing him. The issue is not the item, but the disregard. Overspending without consultation communicates selfishness, and selfishness erodes intimacy. Couples must learn to say, “Let’s talk about this before I spend.”
* Living Above Your Means
A family earning ₦300,000 monthly but renting a house of ₦1.2 million per year is already digging a financial grave. Many marriages collapse because one partner insists on projecting an image of success they cannot afford. It’s better to live humbly within your means and grow steadily than to wear fake crowns that cause real suffering. Peace of mind is richer than appearances.
* Lack of Budgeting
Without a budget, money slips through the cracks, and fights follow. Couples argue over “where the money went” because they never planned where it should go. A budget is not a prison — it is a map. When couples budget together, they eliminate suspicion and create a sense of unity. It is not about restriction, but about direction.
* Excessive Dependence on One Partner
A spouse who can work but refuses to, leaving all responsibilities to the other, places the marriage on a one-legged stool. The working partner may not complain loudly, but inside they feel drained, unappreciated, and resentful. Marriage is teamwork; both partners must contribute, even if unequally, to reduce the burden. Productivity brings dignity, while laziness breeds contempt.
* Irresponsible Borrowing
Borrowing to buy luxury items, host elaborate parties, or “show off” is financial recklessness. One couple once borrowed heavily to celebrate a child’s birthday, only to spend years repaying debts that robbed them of peace. Debt for necessities like housing may be manageable, but debt for vanity will suffocate love. Borrow wisely, or better still, avoid borrowing altogether.
Financial Comparison
Comparison is a silent marriage killer. A wife who constantly says, “My friend’s husband just bought her a car,” wounds her husband’s heart. A husband who says, “See how my colleague’s wife supports him financially,” pierces his wife’s spirit. Comparison blinds you to your spouse’s efforts and breeds bitterness. Honor what you have, and grow together at your own pace.
Not Supporting Each Other’s Dreams
When a spouse wants to pursue a dream, starting a business, furthering education, or investing, but the other refuses support, it creates frustration. Dreams denied at home often lead to resentment or withdrawal. Supporting your spouse’s dream is not just financial, it is emotional: it says, “I believe in you.” And nothing binds hearts together more than mutual belief.
Uncontrolled Giving to Outsiders
Generosity is godly, but it must be balanced with wisdom. Some spouses secretly send large sums to extended family or friends while the home suffers. Marriage makes your spouse and children your first financial responsibility. Blessing outsiders at the expense of your own family is not kindness; it is misplaced priority. Charity must begin at home.
* Poor Record-Keeping
Not knowing how much comes in or goes out leads to confusion. Couples who never track expenses argue constantly because one feels money is “disappearing.” Simple record-keeping, like writing down income and expenditure, brings clarity. Where there is clarity, suspicion dies; where there is suspicion, love suffers.
* Impulse Buying
Walking to a market for some things then getting there see something that attracted you but not needful or necessary . It may feel harmless, but repeated small wastes accumulate into big holes.Dishonoring Each Other’s Contribution
When one partner earns less, they are often made to feel insignificant. A wife contributing ₦20,000 is not less valuable than a husband contributing ₦200,000. The amount differs, but the sacrifice may be equal. Respect every effort, because dishonor kills enthusiasm. The moment your spouse feels their contribution doesn’t matter, they begin to emotionally withdraw.
* Financial Infidelity
This is when one spouse secretly spends or hides money without the other knowing. Whether it is gambling, hidden shopping, or secret bank accounts, it is betrayal. Financial infidelity is as dangerous as sexual infidelity because both break trust. Trust is the glue of marriage; once broken, even love struggles to hold.
Making Big Purchases Alone
Buying land, starting a business, or selling property without your spouse’s knowledge is a betrayal of trust. It makes the other partner feel excluded and powerless. Marriage is not a dictatorship but a partnership. Decisions made alone are decisions against unity. Even if your spouse earns less, they deserve to know and to be part of the journey.
Selfish Spending
When one partner happily buys personal luxuries but complains about family needs, it shows misaligned priorities. A husband who buy costly shoes,chain gold etc, and refuses to fix the leaking roof. or a wife that buy big bags,gold,cloth when lots of things needed to be fix at home. Love shows in sacrifice, not selfishness. Marriage thrives when “us” is more important than “me.”
* Lack of Gratitude for Financial Sacrifices
A wife who manages with little, or a husband who works overtime to provide, deserves appreciation. Sadly, many spouses forget to say “thank you.” Gratitude is free, but its power is priceless. It keeps sacrifice alive and fuels love. Without it, giving feels like slavery. The marriage where gratitude flows will always be richer than the one with millions but no appreciation.
So Dear couples, money is not the root of evil, it is the mismanagement of money that breeds evil in marriages. If you want a lasting home, treat finances with wisdom, openness, and respect.
Start budgeting together. Support each other’s dreams. Show gratitude daily. Above all, remember that financial peace is marital peace.