Hi
Today I was listening to Nora Bateson, the daughter of Gregory Bateson in an interview. She mentioned the term "meta-conflict" and it came to me that our internal conflictual states are sometimes so powerful that we cannot overcome them by ourselves.
So I decided to write this article here for you and me, and anyone else to look into more deeply...into ourselves.
Before writing this article, I did a quick Google search to see what people were saying about "emotional blocks."
I was surprised to see that people use the term and give you solutions, but no one defines it.
It seems funny to me to try to give a solution for a problem that you don't know what it's called.
So in this article, before moving on to the 5 recommendations, I would like to describe a little emotional blockages.
You probably already know what a blockage is. Whatever definition we take from the dictionary, in a blockage we are talking about something (element 1) that stops something else (element 2).
For example, if you build a dam across a river, you have a blockage. Simple so far.
When we talk about emotional blockages, however, confusions arise.
Because although we are referring to the same phenomenon, the blockage is related to our emotional world.
A question arises: in an emotional blockage, do emotions block the process or are they blocked by the process?
And the fastest answer is: both.
That is, in an emotional blockage, it is about both the blocker and the blocked.
Thus, an emotional blockage has 2 stages:
It is formed gradually, stone by stone, brick by brick.
It rarely appears after a single experience.
In most cases, it is a process that you can see dripping.
The purpose of blocking is to prevent the continuation of a process or an action.
Basically, it blocks everything that the emotional brain rejects.
Please note that I did not say that it blocks everything that makes us "bad".
In essence, the emotional blockage is formed through repeated emotional experiences and has the role of stopping us from reaching the same experiences.
Here are 2 examples from real situations:
Let's suppose that you give all your trust to a person and he "betrays" you.
Over time, the emotional blockage that can develop is to become cold and indifferent towards that person.
Maybe you don't change your actions, but you distance yourself emotionally, so that you don't experience that state of betrayal anymore.
Another example is when a hardworking child with outstanding results comes home with a poor first grade.
If his parents express their displeasure with the low grade, without appreciating the rest of the good results, the child will effectively "record" that moment of pain and develop over time the fear of making mistakes and the feeling that he is not good enough.
Sometimes, situations like this lead to extremes: the betrayed person revolts and breaks all ties, the child refuses to learn, or becomes an adult with a desperate care not to make mistakes.
Maybe some would not call them emotional blockages, but what is actually happening?
Any emotional behavior of this kind prevents us from making good decisions and having different results.
Usually, when a person feels betrayed, he gradually extends this blockage to others.
He will react vehemently to any sign that seems to him to "smell" of betrayal.
Then how to have quality relationships?
As a parallel: it's like when a man walks down the street and falls into an open canal.
He will avoid all channels, maybe for life! 🙂
Maybe he fell carelessly and it's time for him to take responsibility.
But it will be easier for him to stay angry with the water-channel management or the city hall and follow all the channels in a panic.
Ok... We both already knew how blockages feel. Physical. That I come with a tension, a tightening of the heart.
Now we know how to define them.
So it is necessary to move on to the 5 recommendations by which we can observe them and overcome them, regardless of the context.
- Try to figure out what emotional experiences it comes from.
It is important to discover step by step HOW you created this blockage in time.
As a rule, the answer does not lie in a singular situation.
Look for more experiences in which you felt the same state.
Possibly even write a list of 10-20 such concrete situations.
It will help you understand the nuances of your blockage.
- Realize what would happen if you didn't have the blockage.
In other words, what are you trying to avoid?
Maybe the feeling of betrayal, as in our example.
Find out what your emotional brain is trying to tell you.
Where he doesn't want you to go, even if rationally, you want to go there.
- When the blockage appears, find ways to change your state.
I know many ask "Do you think you can remove a blockage that has been created for years if you change the state?"
The answer is simple. The brain does not wish us harm, but it finds solutions as it knows best at a given moment.
If we intervene consciously, we reprogram our habits much faster than when they were formed.
It's a workout.
When you change your state, you repeat to the brain that it needs to make a change in the way it reacts.
It's like saying directly to a person:
"I know that you learned this over time, but now I want you to react differently. Let me show you how I would like it."
- Stop fighting
I know this is hard for you, fighter!
Each emotional blockage was installed for your good (as perceived by your emotional part, the subconscious).
But if you want to resolve the problem is to change your habits, it is necessary to understand this at a deep level, to respect the decisions that the emotional brain has made and to stop fighting with yourself.
- Be patient.
This is a process, a training that can last from a few days to a few years.
Some emotional cycles have been created for years and may calm down for a while, but they come back when you least expect it.
That is vital and continues to grow.
But relax. With each practice, it will get better and better.
So here are 4 simple conclusions from this article:
Emotional blockages are built step by step and have a well-defined purpose.
Once you understand their purpose and mechanisms, it is much easier to change.
The brain wants our good - it makes decisions according to what it has learned at a given moment.
Our mission is to understand him and to disagree with him in order to make the change.
AI And What It Can Do So Far
While there may not be a specific website or service dedicated solely to this, there are several AI-powered tools and platforms that offer guidance, support, and resources for personal development, including addressing mental barriers.
Here are a few types of platforms and tools you might find helpful:
Mental Health Chatbots: There are AI chatbots designed to provide mental health support and guidance. These chatbots can offer coping strategies, mindfulness exercises, and encouragement to help overcome inner obstacles.
AI Coaching Platforms: Some coaching platforms utilize AI algorithms to provide personalized coaching sessions. They can help individuals identify and address their internal blocks, set goals, and develop strategies to overcome them.
Meditation and Mindfulness Apps: While not explicitly AI-driven, many meditation and mindfulness apps use algorithms to personalize the user experience. They offer guided meditations and exercises to promote relaxation, clarity of mind, and resilience in the face of obstacles.
Online Therapy Platforms: There are online therapy platforms that utilize AI to match users with therapists and counselors based on their needs and preferences. These therapists can provide support and guidance in overcoming internal blocks.
Self-Improvement Websites: Some self-improvement websites incorporate AI to analyze user data and provide personalized recommendations for overcoming obstacles and achieving personal growth.
You may need to explore several options to find the one that best suits your needs and preferences. Additionally, it's essential to remember that while AI tools can offer valuable support, they are not a substitute for professional mental health care if needed.
I'm wishing you a lot of success in working with your emotional world! Because a conscious life is a happier life.
Thanks for reading!
With respect,
Zpek
