Greetings fellow wonderful @ladiesofhive! It's me Iris, and I am stopping by again today because somehow writing here brings comfort like a soft cotton blanket.
Today I decided to tidy up my wardrobe because I finally got time to do that! As a working mom of a 3 years old boy who is very outdoorsy, I barely had any energy after his bedtime. But somehow I can manage today and prepared to tackle the mountains of clothes that seems like getting wilder everyday.
As I sorted out among the pile, I found some of my favorite pieces that perhaps I would never get to wear again, either because the size won't fit, outgrown the style, or just because wouldn't have any occasions to wear those kind of cIothes again. Then I realized that as women we underwent a lot of changes in our body. Starting from puberty, womanhood, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and post breastfed, our body continuously changing. So that's explain why the piles is growing each month. And not only our size that changed, our heart and emotions also went on a rollercoaster ride that we can't avoid.
Each change bring different emotions. Maybe a fullfilment, resentment, guilt, regret, happiness, and so on. For me, it still weirded me out everytime I am looking at the mirror, to see how different I am now. And then a quote came to my mind:
"Sunset had taught me that ending can be beautiful too"
Everytime we finished a chapter of our life, there's a mixed feeling of course. My pregnancy was unplanned one and I feel like I wasn't ready at all. When finally my son was born I was so relieved because I could say goodbye to all the sores and discomfort. But just until my baby was 2 weeks old, then I started to miss my pregnancy phase because at that time all I feel was joy and excitement of waiting for something so dear. Of course I heard about the lack of sleep, lonely nights, and other difficulties, but nothing prepared me to the frustration and cluelessness of the new mom phase.
But no matter what, undeniably a chapter was closed and we have to move on to another chapter and experience another change. It was so overwhelming and emotionally draining to adapt and overcome new challenges that was shoved to me mercilessly. It was something that couldn't be explained that a bitterness could seep even though I am very happy with my new life as a mother.
Then suddenly, it was a time to wean and I had to say goodbye to the closeness of having him so close and dependent to me. Another chapter had to end and I was thrown to another challenge to carter a mood of tiny creature with an appetite pickier than a cooking show judge. Of course after everything passed I can laugh about it, but it still vividly live in my mind, the version of me that broke down in tears in the kitchen after a long hard day.
However, just as beautiful sunsets are there to end everyday with a nice closure, those struggles also bring new kind of happiness at the end of the day. We just need to hang on until that phase is done, and everything will outgrown its challenges. Either because we are finally adapted to it or it just simple done and gone. At the end of the day, we are survivors and the changes in our body is the living testament of our journey.
So as I finally organized my clothes and put things that won't fit and never going to fit anymore in boxes, I decided to share a penny of my thought along with my collection of my photo of beautiful sunsets that really helped me passed those day when things was hard and seemed impossible.
Just like my last photo, I hope each of you can find a rainbow unexpectedly at the end of the day whenever you are having an impossible day. Thank you for stopping by and reading my post. Go ladies!
