Thank you for opening up and sharing such a heartfelt glimpse into your life—your self-awareness and vulnerability are incredibly moving, @tehilah. It sounds like you’ve been navigating a complex blend of emotions and expectations, all while feeling like the world is asking you to be someone you’re still learning to become.
It’s clear you’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on how your upbringing has shaped who you are. The structure and protection your parents provided may have been well-intentioned, but it seems like they unintentionally limited your opportunities to explore, play, and connect socially. That "triangular life" you describe—school, church, home—might have kept you safe, but it also left you feeling like you missed out on some key experiences that others your age may have had.
The feelings of inadequacy and timidity you mention are incredibly common, though they can feel isolating when you're in the thick of them. It’s okay to feel like you’re still "growing" at 27—growth is a lifelong journey, and it doesn’t follow a set timeline. The world might expect you to be confident and independent right now, but confidence isn’t something you wake up with one day; it’s something you build step by step, starting with small victories.
Your hesitation about romantic relationships shows just how deeply you think about the future, which is a strength in itself. While it’s natural to have questions and concerns, it might help to remind yourself that relationships don’t have to come with lifelong commitments right away. They can be an opportunity to learn more about yourself, connect with someone on a deeper level, and grow at your own pace.
It’s not too late to carve out a social life or find your personal style—those are things you can explore and experiment with whenever you’re ready. Maybe you could start by joining a small, low-pressure group or activity that aligns with your interests, where you can meet people and practice expressing yourself in a safe environment.
As for timidity, perhaps you could focus on small wins—like sharing your opinion in a low-stakes setting or gently correcting someone when you know you’re right. Each time you step outside your shell, even just a little, you’re stretching that comfort zone bit by bit.
Your story shows resilience, thoughtfulness, and a desire for growth—qualities that will serve you well as you navigate life on your own terms, @tehilah.
!LADY