I learned about love when I started reading Tagalog romance pocketbooks. That's where I first learned how it feels to be loved and cared for by someone. That's also when I started dreaming of my own happy ending, seeking love from other people I like. It feels good when I could get it, not through action but by texting me how much they like and care for me. That's also when I get addicted to texting, always finding a textmate whom I can connect with no matter how big the distance. It feels good whenever I can receive the love that I always craved.
I can say "I love you" and "I miss you" to a total stranger, but with my family, I can't. I think I first said my first "I love you" to my textmate during high school and not to my family, I can't really remember. I am really not vocal into my feelings when it comes to my family. With my big hatred toward them before, I just can't. I grew up hiding my real feelings from anyone. I'd rather just keep it to myself than show it. I feel like if I show my real feelings to them, I will only get hurt, and I don't want that.
But with a total stranger that I got closer to just for a short time, I can say it loudly. And it is easier for me to do that. They can't see my face because Messenger didn't exist back then, but only through a text or call, it is easy. I can't even remember the number of text mates I had then. When I feel that the other one is not giving me enough attention anymore, I'll look for someone again then. It is easier that way, at least I can get more love to these people. I had a lot of late night texting with them too, I hate a call so I choose texting only.
Anyways, I can't really remember now the last time I genuinely said I love you to someone. I kinda miss saying it. Lol.
As for my love language, hmmm, giving someone quality time. Making time for them, replying to their chat no matter how busy I am. I'll reply even if I am charging my phone. I always turn off my phone whenever I am charging my phone, but I do it only, especially for someone. This is me during my last relationship, I was like that. I am not sure now, though.
The truth is I broke up with my ex because I can't give him more time. And I feel like that time, I would be very busy in my life since I just finish college. But how wrong I was. I didn't even get a job to get busy. Lol. Still, I had no regret breaking up with him at least, I saved him from a sure pain I could give him. I think? And our relationship is already going south because of unresolved conflict, keneme, so, yeah. The last time I was in a relationship was in 2016, and it's 2025 now. I'm so proud OMG! Uwu
I don't know how to be in a relationship anymore right now, I would be so awkward if ever. Lol. Lucky for me, no one dared to court me. That's in favor for me because right now, I love my freedom, I love the long time I can spend on something I really like.
As for my love language for my family, hmm, through action. Nagging them when I saw them doing things bad for their health, then treating them to food I know they love to make them happy. That's it ( ◜‿◝ )♡. How about you? ┏(＾0＾)┛
Lead Image Edited in Canva.
