You are welcome to this awesome community.
Being an overthinker doesn't make you a sadist or someone who doesn't enjoy good time. Since you already know that you have such traits, you can just work on them.
Learn to let things flow without you trying to control the outcome, live every moment like it's your last.

Ask a close friend who understands your weakness to work with you on this.
Thanks for sharing your this with us, I wish you a beautiful day ahead.