Forgiveness, it’s one of those things that sounds simple until life throws you in a situation where someone deeply hurts you. Then suddenly, forgiving doesn’t feel so easy anymore. In fact, there are times we even ask ourselves, Why should I forgive this person? They don’t even deserve it.
I’ve had moments where holding on to a grudge felt like justice. The anger becomes a shield you carry around, like a way of protecting yourself from ever being hurt again. But over time, I have realized that unforgiveness doesn’t really punish the other person as much as it punishes you. It’s like drinking poison and hoping the other person gets sick, but in the end, you’re the one carrying the weight.
Forgiveness is not always about the other person. Many times, it’s about you, your peace, your freedom, your mental well-being. When you forgive, you release yourself from constantly reliving that hurt. You stop allowing the past to have control over your present and futur.
But the question remains, Should we always forgive?
I think forgiveness is important, but it doesn’t always have to mean reconciliation. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you must let them back into your life to hurt you again. It simply means you’ve made a conscious choice to let go of the bitterness. Some people think forgiveness means forgetting, but honestly, we don’t have a delete button in our brain. The memory might still be there, but the sting loses its power.
When we forgive, both sides can benefit. For the person who is forgiven, it can be a turning point, a chance to reflect and perhaps change for the better. It can restore broken relationships and heal emotional wounds. For the person doing the forgiving, it’s a release from emotional chains. It’s like opening a window in a stuffy room, suddenly you can breathe again.
Now, about forgiving someone who doesn’t deserve it, I believe nobody earns forgiveness, it’s given. If you wait until someone deserves it, you might wait forever. Some people may never apologize, never change, and never understand the pain they caused. But forgiveness in such cases is still a gift you give to yourself. You choose peace over pain, healing over hate.
That being said, forgiveness is not weakness. It takes strength to let go of something your heart wants to hold onto for revenge. And it’s okay to take your time. Forgiveness is a process, some wounds need more time than others. You can acknowledge the hurt, set boundaries, and still choose not to carry resentment in your heart.
So, should we always forgive? My answer is yes, but for yourself, not necessarily for them. Do it because you deserve to live free from the shadows of yesterday. Do it because life is too short to carry around heavy emotional baggage. And do it because your heart deserves the peace that comes when you finally let go.
In the end, forgiveness is less about saying it’s okay and more about saying I’m moving forward.
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