The balance between giving and my nee | El equilibrio entre dar y mis necesidades LOH #206

in Ladies of Hivelast month

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In English

Greetings friends of the #LadiesofHive community, with the edition you bring us this week, where you invite us to reflect with the questions of our esteemed @priyanarc, responding to the third of them, below I present my participation:

How do you create a balance between giving to others and prioritizing your own needs?

Knowing what my needs are and what to do with them, bring to my mind the situations that worry me more than they really should and become too big problems, they may come from relatives or friends that I love and in the name of that appreciation or affection, sometimes pretend that I am responsible for those problems that do not correspond to me.

Learn to say this word:

Many times I have made the effort to be well with family or friends, without realizing the wear and tear of trying to please them.

With maturity, I have realized that I cannot allow any of them to hurt me or not allow me to be happy, I can help, but when I feel I am available and when I feel I can do it.

I have felt that some time ago it was hard for me to say NO, for fear of looking bad to them or being judged, but it was necessary to start using that word.

In the end, I probably won't have so many friendships by my side, but I am sure that even if they are few, they will be the most valuable ones, I have felt happier and relieved to have fewer problems or worries that do not correspond to me.

Help according to my possibilities

It is beautiful to help, that can not be denied but remember that everything has a limit and although it is done with the best of intentions, only God knows what is inside each heart, I think even to give caution must be taken, even with people of the same family (of course there are exceptions such as parents and siblings), which then take that help by obligation and far from thanking you help when I can, criticize because you can no longer.

There are many people who do not appreciate what has been given to them, it is given much more between family members, it seems that they think that because they are family, we have an obligation to do, say and give what we see that they need and many times we do not even receive thanks in return.

It is better to help the one who asks for it, and the one who accepts that help according to our possibilities.

Canva

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Know when to let go

Maintain clarity to see what is good for me or when I should let go of those situations that are not mine. Others will expect things from me for their own good, but I must first look out for myself.

Remember that I can always put limits in my life, always respecting, but I am not obliged to live smiling when I only receive criticism.
I have control over my life, organize my feelings take control, no one has the right to hurt me, the more confident you show me, the more I can improve my emotions.

It is not about being selfish

In the end what really counts is the satisfaction of feeling useful, it is not exactly that what we give or do is not worth it, it is that they take for granted that they are there and many times the people they benefit, think they deserve it all.

It is necessary to put some restrictions and not to give so easily what other people ask for or what they want, because apart from everything, it becomes their habit to ask without worrying if they can or not at the moment.

It is not that I am selfish, it is that I must think of myself, as much or more than others.

I believe that the main mission we come with is with ourselves, because as I said, if you are not good with yourself, you cannot do good to others, if we take into account that no one can offer or give what they do not have, we will never be good with all the people.

Designs and images on Canva
The pictures in my gallery taken from myRedmi 9 phone and edited in canva
Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)

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En Español

Saludos amigos de la comunidad #LadiesofHive, con la edición que nos traen esta semana, donde nos invitan a reflexionar con las preguntas de nuestra estimada @priyanarc, respondiendo a la tercera de ellas, a continuación les presento mi participación:

¿Cómo creas un equilibrio entre dar a los demás y priorizar tus propias necesidades?

Saber cuáles son mis necesidades y qué hacer con ellas, traen a mi mente las situaciones que me preocupan más de lo que realmente deberían y se transforman en problemas demasiado grandes, pueden Ilegar de parte de parientes o de amistades que quiero y en nombre de ese aprecio o cariño, en ocasiones pretenden que me haga responsable de esos problemas que no me corresponden.

Aprender a decir esta palabra:

Muchas veces haber realizado el esfuerzo por estar bien con la familia o los amigos, sin darme cuenta del desgaste que significa intentar complacerles.

Con la madurez, me he dado cuenta que no puedo permitir que ninguno de ellos me haga daño o no me permita ser feliz, Puedo ayudar, pero cuando siento que estoy disponible y cuando me parece que puedo hacerlo.

He sentido que hace un tiempo me costaba decir NO, por temor a quedar mal con ellos o a ser juzgada, pero era necesario comenzar a utilizar esa palabra.

AI final, es probable que no quede con tantas amistades a mi lado, pero seguro que aunque sean pocas, serán las más valiosas, me he sentido más feliz y aliviada al tener menos problemas o preocupaciones que no me corresponden.

Ayudar según mis posibilidades

Es hermoso ayudar, eso no se puede negar pero recordemos que todo tiene un límite y aunque se hace con la mejor de las intenciones, sólo Dios sabe lo que hay dentro de cada corazón, creo que incluso para dar hay que tener precaución, aun con personas de la misma familia (claro que hay excepciones como padres y hermanos), que luego toman esa ayuda por obligación y lejos de agradecer que se le ayude cuando se puedo, critica porque ya no se puede.

Hay muchas personas que no aprecian lo que les ha dado, se da mucho más entre miembros de la familia, tal parece que piensan que por ser de la familia, tenemos obligación de hacer, decir y dar lo que vemos que necesitan y muchas veces no. recibimos ni las gracias a cambio.

Es mejor ayudar a quien lo pide, ya quien acepta esa ayuda de acuerdo a nuestras posibilidades.

Canva

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Saber cuándo soltar

Mantener la claridad para ver que me hace bien o cuando debo soltar esas situaciones que no son mías. Los demás esperarán cosas de mí por su propio bien, pero debo mirar primero por mí misma.

Recordar que siempre puedo poner límites en mi vida, respetando siempre, pero no estoy obligada a vivir sonriendo cuando sólo recibo críticas. Yo tengo el control sobre mi vida, organizar mis sentimientos asumir el control, nadie tiene el derecho de hacerme daño, mientras más segura me muestres, más puedo mejorar mis emociones.

No se trata de ser egoístas

AI final lo que realmente cuenta es la satisfacción de sentirnos útiles, no es precisamente que no valga la pena lo que damos o hacemos, es que dan por sentado que están allí y muchas veces las personas a quienes benefician, se piensan que lo merecen todo.
Es necesario poner algunas restricciones y no dar tan fácilmente lo que piden o lo que quieren otras personas, porque aparte de todo, se les vuelve costumbre pedir sin preocupación de si se puede o no en el momento.
No es que sea egoísta, es que debo pensar en mí misma, tanto o más que en los demás.
Creo que la misión principal con la que venimos es con nosotras mismas, porque lo dicho, si no estás bien contigo misma, no puedes hacer el bien a los demás, si tomamos en cuenta que nadie puede ofrecer o dar lo que no tiene, nunca quedaremos bien con toda la gente.

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Los diseños y las imágenes en Canva
Las fotografías en mi galería tomadas de mi teléfono Redmi 9 y editadas en canva
Traducido con www.DeepL.com/Translator (versión gratuita)

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Somebody, once said to me that, being selfish is good at times because then, you'll learn to take care of yourself first before anyone else lol.

Seeing it from that point makes sense, thanks for stopping by and commenting,!LADY

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You are welcome 🤗

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Thanks you!

Sometimes, when we give and give and give, then the people who have been on the receiving end of our graces, just take and we end up being a door mat for them.

Learning to just say no, is one of the hardest things for a giving person to do. I know; I've been there. There is no selfishness in taking care of yourself, for how can you be of help, if you're constantly trying to recharge from not saying no.

Thanks for sharing my friend, and have a lovely day!🤗💜🌻🍁 !LADY !HOPE

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Thank you very much my dear @elizabethbit for your visit and thoughtful comment, I appreciate it very much and have a nice day.

You are very welcome, @cautiva-30! Take care!🤗💜🌻🍁

saludos, he aprendido que la única persona que permanece toda la vida contigo eres tu misma, por eso es innegable amarnos ante nada, excelente tu post, gracias

That's right and we can't give what we don't have, thank you for your visit and touching comment,!LADY

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