The feeling of loneliness is an emotion that can come at anytime. It doesn't send a signal before doing so, it just comes out of the blues and strikes someone, lol. I've had a first hand experience of being lonely and I tell you, it's emotionally draining. Here's what happened.
Some years ago, I had an invite to attend the navy ball night. Living in the navy barracks for years, I haven't had the opportunity of attending their ball night before so the invitation was an honor. Jo told my friend, a young naval officer then about it and asked if he would be attending, he replied in the affirmative. Oh I was so excited and looked forward to having an amazing experience.
On the d-day, I dressed up in a dark blue, knee-length, short sleeved evening gown, paired it with silver colored shoes and bag with matching accessories. I had a light make up on. Looking myself in the mirror, I almost passed for a model ready for the runway. Even my sister confirmed that I was looking beautiful. Well I needed to be at my best because I didn't know what to expect at the event since it was a first time but I envisaged it was going to be a wonderful night, at least my prince charming would be there with me. Only if I knew.
We got to the venue which happened to be by the riverside. The event had already started and the turn up was massive so we found a place to fix ourselves. Luckily the table was occupied by his friend and some other known officers so we settled in to enjoy the show and it was indeed fun filled.
Now to the crux of the matter. It happened that my my friend with his friend excused themselves to attend to something. After some minutes, they came back but stood by the side chatting. Later, the friend came and sat down leaving my friend with some other guys. I didn't really like that he wasn't by my side but I didn't want to think much about it so I shifted my attention to the show. After a while, he hasn't come to sit down so I looked at where he was standing hoping to signal him to come but he was no longer there. "Where did this guy go again?" I asked myself. I called his number twice but it wasn't connecting.
The network providers at it again. Feeling worried, I asked the friend about his whereabout and I got the shock of my life. "He has gone", he said. "Gone where?" I asked but he didn't say anything further. I tried wrapping my head around what I heard but couldn't. I felt abandoned and rejected. I looked around and saw how other people where chatting, laughing and having a nice time with their partners but here I was alone and lost to the crowd. The feeling of loneliness gripped and in that instant I couldn't help the tears from falling.
I yearned to be happy like the others but only sadness greeted me. The cool breeze from the river wasn't helping as I felt cold shivers. My emotions were going haywire and I didn't want to break down to avoid embarrassing myself so I asked my friend's friend if he could escort me home since and he obliged. On the walk home, he told me not to feel so bad about his friends action that he isn't the party type.
I got home, wrapped myself up in bed and cried my heart out till I felt asleep. It was weekend so I didn't have to go to work the next day. He called but I didn't take it neither did I see him when he requested. I was done with him. The hurt was much to bear so I needed time alone, yet I felt more lonely. All through that weekend I was moody, withdrawn and didn't have much to eat unlike me. My pillow was soaked with tears each night. Monday came I called the office and stayed back home. My sister came back from work and saw me home. She asked what was amiss noting that I haven't been myself for some days. I had to open up to her and that helped release some of the pent up emotions. She advised me to let go of the hurt and forgive him, which I did. With her help and advice, l was able to manage the situation.
Being Alone And Feeling Lonely, Are They The Same Thing?
Being alone and feeling lonely are intertwined.
While Loneliness is a complex emotional state where you are feeling alone or cut off from others even when you are in their midst, being alone is a physical state where you are all by yourself, in your own world.
Loneliness can lead to one being alone, isolated from others. So you can say that being alone is the aftermath of loneliness, just like what happened to me.
This feeling of loneliness can actually be caused by a variety of factors like divorce or broken relationships, job loss, social isolation, abandonment, illness, injury, mental health or other health related issues. Loneliness can come bearing different symptoms, it can be social symptoms, such as feeling excluded or left out, just like I felt at the ball night. Or emotional like sadness or anxiety. It might also be physical such as fatigue or insomnia. When extreme it can lead to several health issues.
Being alone, on the other hand, is more of a prolonged state of social isolation. Put simply you're just going solo not with anyone, This can be a conscious choice, like choosing to live alone, or spending time alone in nature, going on a solo picnic or curled up enjoying a good book. Being alone can be positive and healthy, allowing you to recharge and reflect,
but on the other hand not too good as it can make one loose social connection.
Tips To Managing Loneliness
- Try Reaching Out To Others:
It's important to note that staying all by yourself won't help neither can you do it alone, you need people around and to help you deal with it. You can confide in a trusted friend, a colleague or family member just like I did with my sister, and let them help you. Connecting with community groups can help to build your social network. Social connection is a powerful antidote to loneliness, so it's important to find ways to build those connections, even if you're feeling isolated.
- Take Self-Care Seriously:
Remember that loneliness is a common human experience, and it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. So pamper and show yourself some love, kindness and care. Eat healthy foods, exercise, take a walk, and ensure that you're getting enough sleep.
Self-care can help to boost your mood and energy levels, which can make it easier to connect with others and engage in activities that bring you joy.
- Find Something You Enjoy Doing And Do It:
There's always that hobby or activity that you find joy in doing so go ahead and do it. It could be gardening, singing or writing songs, stories or even whipping up things in the kitchen.
- Seek Professional Help Immediately
Some cases of loneliness can be extreme such that it affects the person's daily life, and even mental health. If such is your case, it's wise to talk to a therapist or counselor so they can provide you with strategies for coping with your feelings and help you to build a good support system that can work for you.
- Let Go Of The Hurt
Some feeling of loneliness can be as a result of the hurt from friends and loved ones so it's important to let go of that hurt, forgive the offender so you can be yourself again. By doing so you're showing kindness not only to the one who hurt you but to yourself too.
This is where I'll wrap it up.
Leo Power Up Day Participation
The 15th of every month is notably #lpud and I couldn't let it pass by without participating. So I powered up 577.11 Leo, now having a total of 9,099.47 LP. July goal achieved. My next target is 10K LP.
Happy #lpud frens.
Thank you for reading....
Still the #threadsaddict 😂
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