Before gaining admission into my currently university, I enrolled in a JUPEB program in a private university, which lasted for a year. After successfully passing, I moved straight to 200 level. So basically , during that JUPEB period, I stayed in a room with four other guys in the hostel. It was a mixed experience—some good days, some bad—but one particular incident stands out, and it taught me a lesson I’ll never forget.
At some point, there was a lot of unrest in the hostel because people kept complaining about missing phones, laptops, and other valuables. There were whispers and accusations flying here and there, and everyone was on edge. Among my roommate, one particular guy "Samuel" started sreading rumors about another of my roommates "Armani" , saying he was the thief responsible for all the missing items. He painted the guy in such a bad light that before we knew it, people in the hostel started keeping an eye on him, treating him with suspicion, and distancing themselves from him.
On a normal day, I always brought provisions from home since I was staying in the hostel. My locker had my foodstuff—beverages, biscuits, and canned foods like sardines. One day, I went to the school shopping mall to get some things, and when I returned, I saw that my locker was slightly open. I hadn’t locked it before leaving, so that immediately caught my attention. Out of curiosity, I checked inside to see if anything was missing, and that was when I noticed one of my sardines was gone.
Instantly, I was furious. I didn’t even think twice before jumping to conclusions. The only thing in my head was, It has to be him! Because of all the things I had heard about him, I was so convinced that he was the one who took it. Without hesitation, I went straight to him and demanded that he return my sardine.
He looked genuinely confused and shocked. He told me straight up that he wasn’t the one and that I should check properly. But at that moment, I wasn’t ready to listen. Anger had clouded my judgment. I started throwing insults at him, calling him a thief, telling him how he had no shame for stealing from people. I even went as far as warning him never to come near my locker again.
The more I talked, the angrier he got. He kept trying to defend himself, but I wasn’t having it. Then, before I knew it, he lost his cool and punched me so hard in the fac. He was a big guy and someone I couldn’t even beat if we got into a fight, but I knew I could talk my talk, and I did—way too much.
Later that day, after everything had cooled down, I went back to my locker just to check again, and to my surprise, the sardine was right there. It had been in my locker all along. I just didn’t search well.
At that moment, I didn’t even know what to do. I felt so ashamed of myself. How do you go from falsely accusing someone to finding out you were completely wrong? It was one of those moments where I wished the ground could just open and swallow me.
I had to let things settle first before I finally gathered the courage to approach him. I apologized sincerely and admitted that I had acted based on the things I heard rather than actual facts. I explained that the rumors about him had influenced my reaction, but I knew that wasn’t an excuse for what I did.
Even though he accepted my apology, things were never really the same between us after that. The trust was broken, and our friendship was affected. That incident taught me a valuable lesson: always verify before making accusations. Acting based on rumors or anger can lead to unnecessary problems and even ruin relationships.
Honestly when i look back now, I realize how unfair I was to him. If the roles had been reversed, I don’t think I would have handled it any better than he did. That experience shaped the way I handle conflicts today. Before reacting, I take a step back to confirm things, because one wrong assumption can cost a lot more than just a sardine.
Thanks for reading.
Posted Using INLEO
