Affairs of love and conduct of relationships has always been a great puzzle to me, not as if I don't know the meaning of it, the thought of two people who once loved and cared for each other but due to one issue or another it has now become nearly impossible to tolerate the presence of one another.
It makes you wonder what the whole fuzz was all about in the first place. Were they never meant to be together? was loving each other not enough to keep the relationship going? if it was never going to workout why did they give it a try in the first place? or was it just for fun? If it was never meant to last, then what is the point of the friendship?
It is hard to tell why some relationship went from being great to nothing, truth be told there are a lot of things that could go wrong in a relationship but is love not suppose to be enough to overcome any challenges. Probably it wasn't love in the first place? they might not even know what it means.
These are the kind of thoughts that go through my mind, it has never been clear to me what exactly keeps a relationship together, I mean you can love as much as you can for the sake of a relationship but it might still not work out. it is not as if there is manual you could read and follow the steps to ensure everything goes smoothly.
How do you define a relationship? I'm not an expert on this subject, in fact I could say I have little experience regarding this but yet it feels like I know it all. I always want to believe people get into relationship with the right intentions, what other reason is there? Naive I was.
The definition of what a relationship should be like depends on individual perspective of it. In relation to this post, when I say relationship, I'm referring to a romantic relationship because in this modern era, there are categories of relationship that has span out of the desperation of humans to define their relationship with one another.
I'm not sure many remember the feeling, how it feels to be loved, how it feels to care deeply for someone and putting their needs above yours at all times. The constant rush for you to always want to run to your partner, to tell him/her how your day has been. How antagonising it feels anytime you find it difficult to use words to express your feelings. I see a relationship as an open book, that involves both partners exposing each others vulnerability and finding ways to work through it.
Over time I have always mentioned one of the major elements that ensures the continuity of any form of relationship which is trust, a fruit of mutual understanding among people. When it comes to friendship or relationship, the significant of trust can never be overemphasized, since it is the foundation of which every other thing is built.
Going back to the topic of this post, you see the thing about trust is that, the way we carry is different. For some people when you betray their trust, it hurts them just like everyone else but somehow they will still find some common ground and try to give the person who hurts them another chance but there are others, the moment you hurt them, that is it, there is no restart button.
If I'm being honest, I belong to the second category. The truth about me is that, the way my mind keep records of every activities both negative and positive is so detailed that I'm incapable of forgetting anything. This specific trait might look awesome in academics but it is my greatest flaw when it comes to forgiveness. If I find myself forgiving someone for betraying my trust, it is not because of the person, I just did it for my own peace of mind.
Granting second chance after betray of one's trust is based on each individual capability to let go of the hurtful experience and to be frank, it is not everyone that is capable of this. When you experience a lot of betrayal in a lifetime, your mind becomes conditioned to be on the lookout for any signs of potential betrayal, like a signal alert. The moment your mind notice this signal, it will automatically shut the person out to prevent you from rel
iving another betrayal experience.
This write-up was inspired by week 37 episode 2 - SciFi multiverse titled "BUILDING TRUST IN RELATIONSHIP AND FRIENDSHIP" in SciFi multiverse community.
Cover image - 𝖣𝖾𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝗎𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗏𝖺
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Image 2 - Source
