Have you ever smiled when all you wanted to do was break down — or just get a hug, a warm word, or some simple affirmation from someone who loves you?
I have. Many times.
Growing up, I watched so many adults, especially women, keep it all together. Even when it was clear they were tired or overwhelmed, they still pressed on, shoulders squared, doing what needed to be done. There was always this pressure to be strong, to keep your house in order, to never appear vulnerable. Somewhere along the way, I picked up that idea too: that strength meant silence, endurance, and never showing weakness.
But let’s be honest,pretending to be okay all the time is exhausting.
For a long time, I thought being “strong” was the best way to protect myself and others. But I’ve come to learn that allowing yourself space to feel and to break down, even just a little, can be more freeing than words can describe. There’s a kind of quiet healing that comes when you finally allow yourself to stop holding everything in.
Many people hide their pain to avoid being judged. Others feel like they always have to show up for the people around them, even when they’re barely holding themselves together. Some of us were simply raised to believe that vulnerability was weakness, and so the idea of opening up becomes unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or even scary.
For me, I eventually realized that bottling everything up was starting to harden me. I was becoming numb to the things that used to matter. I stopped caring about things I once loved. I stopped processing pain, and in doing so, I stopped really feeling anything at all. That was a wake-up call. I knew something had to change.
So I started small.
I gave myself room to rest. I allowed myself to cry. I reached out to friends when things got heavy. I started journaling. I reminded myself, over and over, that it’s okay to not have it all together, that needing help doesn’t make me weak, it makes me human.
Sometimes, all we need is a moment to breathe. Some peace and quiet. A safe space to unravel and just be without the fear of judgment.
So if you’ve been carrying too much, trying to stay strong for everyone else, please hear this: you’re allowed to pause. You’re allowed to fall apart sometimes. Strength isn’t about never breaking; it’s about knowing when to rest and recharge. That is strength, too.
Be kind to yourself.
Ps: these pictures were taken by me with my mobile device.