Which feelings or emotions do you find most difficult to open up about, and what helps to make it easier to share?
I will be sharing two of my feelings.
- My personal problems.
- My private life, intimacy and marriage
I find it very difficult to talk to people about my personal problems, because I feel that no body is willing to listen. Everybody around me believes that i dont have problems, that I have a prfect life. I sometimes wonder, could it be because of the chubby body that God has blessed me with, or maybe because I don't like disturbing people with my problems. Or because I always put myself in people's shoes trying to understand, feel and help them?. They always assume I don’t have problems. Before I could even say anything, I will hear things like, “You can’t be complaining when we are are complaining.”
So I got used to hearing such responses and I decided to keep my feelings to myself and to my God. Then i find a way to cope with the problems.
But the truth is that everyone needs someone who genuinely cares about them. Afterall, they say, "A problem shared is half solved" right?. I can not go about forcing people who do not give a dam about my feelings to listen to me. I needed just a person who truly have my best interests at heart, someone who would not judge me, someone who would tell me the truth even when it was hard to hear, and someone who genuinely love me.
I found that person in my oldest sister. She understands me even more than the way I understand myself, it's always amazes me how she does it. She can tell from my smile, my body language, or even the tone of my voice when something is wrong. She would ask, "Why is your voice so low?" Even when I tried to change the topic or pretend that everything was fine, she would always encourage me to talk, she will say, "No, talk I'm listening". Opening up to her has been one of the best decisions I have made. Most times, she may not be able to solve the problem, but her kind words, her honest advice, and her reassurance always, definitely puts a smile on my face. And at the end, I will feel lighter.
The second one is anything that has to do with my private life, especially matters around intimacy and marriage. That one was even harder for me to talk about. I personally value my privacy and believe that some aspects of my marriage should remain private and between my husband and i. But, there was a time when I needed someone I could trust, so I chose to confide in a dear friend who is also a nurse.
And we talked, and to my greatest surprise, she was dealing with something similar too. She had also been keeping it to herself. I was really surprised. It made me to realise that no matter what challenge you are facing, you are probably not alone. There are other people that are silently carrying the same burden. That fact really helped me to share my problems. So i opened up to my trusted friend, and realising that she's also facing something similar, did not only bring comfort and relieve to me but also it made me happy to know that I helped her share her own story.
I have come to realise that, we heal when we share our problems with the right person. A person who we can trust, a person who is willing to listen to us without judging, a person who can help us in any possible way that they can. A person who will always tell us the truth without hiding or bending it and also encourage us.
Thank you for stopping by @sarahbaby blog. This is week 297 of @ladieofhive contest, question and judge by @ifarmgirl.
