Do people change, or are we just beginning to see their true colours This question is an interesting one that has got me contemplating and thinking seriously. It's a question that makes us question personal growth, psychology and perspectives.
From my perspective, I believe the two can exist together. People change. Change is something that is unavoidable. It is a constant process of life. Emotions like Pain, loss, grief and trauma can make people to change either for the better or the worst. It can make that outgoing, cheerful friend to become so unsociable that you ask yourself what changed? It can cause that silent little girl to become more brave and outspoken that you look in awe and surprise. So yes, people can change.
However, sometimes we see people from the vision of them we have in our mind. It could be that the person has always been the same person he has always been all this while. What changed then? Our perspective, our vision of who we think they once were. Often times we project how we want people to be on them and that blinds us from seeing their red flags. We dismiss little signs as nothing, all because we have an image of who we want them to be that we overlook who they truly are. And when our clarity becomes sharps and we now start to see clearly, we then think they have changed when that is truly who they were from the beginning.
There was a friend of mine named Jennifer that I thought was caring and loyal and always had my back. But then she betrayed me. She went around my back spreading false rumours about me. We eventually withdrew from one another. We were not enemies, but we kept our distances. Then suddenly she began drawing closer to me at one certain period. I was sceptical at first, but with her consistent bugging, I gave in. I thought we could be real friends this time that I began to overlook the red flags I saw. I silenced the small voice in my head telling me she was using me to get information and forced myself to believe that she had truly changed. Then one day, she stopped coming closer and began hanging out with her old friend ds. She dismissed my presence like I was nothing. And it only got me wondering, was it all an act or is this who she truly was.
I'm not saying this to disregard the fact that people do not grow. Because they do. They can change for the good or the worst. All I'm trying to say is that whether people change or our dream vision of them suddenly wears off from our eyes, when clarity kicks in, how we handle it matters. Do we still remain in that relationship or do we walk away? Do we believe that they can still change or do we have to hang on to the lie we told ourselves?
In conclusion, to determine if a person has truly changed, or it was who they truly were all this while lies in the pattern. Continued repeated action. One moment or action cannot define a person. We watch and observe. If this habit is continuous, then it was probably who they were all this while, we just didn't see it clearly and on time.
I invite @beckyroyal ,@hopestylist and @davingson to participate in this contest