I’ve always thought of myself as an introvert.
You know, the type who finds peace in solitude, who doesn’t mind being alone with their thoughts, who would rather stay home on a Friday night than go out partying.
But lately, I’ve come to realize that I'm not just that. I'm not always quiet. I’m not always the one in the corner observing. Sometimes, I surprise even myself.😆
It really depends on the people I’m with.
There are days when I want to be alone so badly and even crave for silence. I crave the stillness of a quiet afternoon in my room, where I can hear my thoughts clearly, sip my coffee slowly, and just be present. No pressure to entertain, no need to explain why I’m so quiet, no obligation to be anyone but myself.
But there are also moments that is beautiful, surprising moments—when I find myself laughing out loud, talking non-stop, and enjoying every second of being with others. I can be the one cracking jokes, the one telling stories, the one starting conversations. I can be that person too.
And for a while, I was confused.
“Am I pretending? Am I faking it just to fit in?”
I asked myself those questions more times than I can count. I felt guilty whenever I was too energetic around others because it didn’t match the image I had of myself as “the quiet one.” I also felt the pressure to be talkative when I was with people who expected me to be fun and bubbly—when all I really wanted was some peace.
I’m introverted, yes. But that doesn’t mean I’m always quiet or shy. I’ve realized that my energy, my mood, even my personality can shift depending on the people around me. There are friends who bring out the loud, adventurous version of me.
With them, I want to go out, try new things, stay up late, and talk about everything under the sun. I enjoy their company, and being around them feels like breathing fresh air.
It’s a blessing to have both.
Some days, I cancel plans just because I feel too emotionally drained. Other days, I find myself missing the noise and the company. I want to go out, eat street food, laugh until my stomach hurts, and make memories with people I love. And I’ve learned that both versions of me are real. Both are valid.
I think many of us are like that we’re not boxed into just being “the introvert” or “the extrovert.” We exist somewhere in between, adjusting, shifting, opening up or closing off depending on who’s with us. It’s not about being fake. It’s about feeling safe, being understood, and responding to the kind of energy we receive.
And I’ve finally made peace with that.
Sometimes i feel my social baterry has been draining and I no longer force myself to be social when I need rest. I also don’t feel guilty anymore when I suddenly become the loudest person in the room. Because all of those parts are me. I’m quiet, and I’m loud. I love solitude, and I love company. I seek stillness, and I crave adventure. I’m a little bit of everything—and that’s what makes me human.
So if you ever feel the same way—like you’re too loud to be an introvert or too quiet to be an extrovert—know that you’re not alone. There’s no need to define yourself with just one label. You’re allowed to be different versions of yourself, depending on who you’re with and how you feel.
We are allowed to grow. To change. To retreat. To come out of your shell. To laugh. To be silent. To crave company. To want to be alone.