To control my Child Self, even though I don't hide my joy or annoyance at things that happen, I stop. I ask myself how acting this way benefits me if I have an impulse to disagree with something. For everything I do, stopping is the best thing to do. Of course, this is achieved when there is awareness of the Child Self's behaviors; it's an interesting process for everyone.
This self is relentless. Sometimes I wish my children didn't see me as the mother who imposed rules, although at this point in my life I've softened that a lot. I control my insecurities and fears toward them. I tell myself they're adults now and they've chosen their lives; now they must accept the results with their decisions. This is tremendous. That Parent Self, my dad, is present, and without saying anything, we all knew what he meant, whether there was anger or something unpleasant; I think I've understood him more since he's not with us, and why he sometimes acted that way. Because of his fears for what he experienced as a child, he protected us. As we grow up, we copy him. The best part is that by recognizing ourselves, we can soften the behaviors we thought were impossible to change.
The Adult Me
It's about balance above all else. He recognizes his emotions and finds a way not to be affected by them. I've understood this over the last two years... something like when they told me to see problems from the outside. Of course, I didn't understand how to separate emotions from what was happening at the time. Now I understand it differently. I tell myself, this is his process. When he needs me, I'm here to listen. In a family situation that we are experiencing with a brother, I have had to tell one of my sisters who has been affected by the way he and his family are handling his health diagnosis that although we are not indifferent to such a situation, he is our brother. I have had to tell her to understand that he and his family decided to live this way and we are not going to change them. It is difficult because family loyalty comes into play. As a brother, we want to protect him and provide the appropriate care, but for him and his family, the way they do it is their way and that is okay with them.

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