Yesterday I pumped into some anonymous post about a young man seeking for advice, obviously he met this young lady he really liked so much and wanted to get down with her but she insist on marriage, so they did get married, but after some weeks the guys mum insist on the wife coming to live with her for a while so she can get to know her better, few weeks later the guys mum told her son that she's not wife material, she won't make a good wife, and just like that this guy cut ties with his wife send her out of his home cause his mother didn't approve of her as his wife, Mind you this after the wedding, he says as far as his mom who raised him all by her self didn't approved of her he won't go ahead with it,, tho this gurl pleaded and cried he didn't think it twice, so later on when things started going south he's now asking for help if he was right on what he had done.....
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I just thought to myself why now, this error is far too complicated after wedding the young girl deflowered her and now want to send her out of his home cause his mom didn't approve of the relationship, this to me is a height of silliness, immature, irresponsibility in a man, like how's that even possible, yeah I know such guys are usually mommy's boy and a yes mummy kinda guy, but looking at the damage side of this, he's already married this lady I'm not saying people can't divorce after wedding but in this case not any fault or whatever just because mama disapproves without thinking twice he's ready to ruin and shame the girls life.
What happened to doing all of the necessary findings before saying I do, what happened to getting approval from mummy before that day, why are people not using their sense to think, why just go by what they see and then when its too late they tie the knot on something else as an excuse, would he think of the emotional trauma he will cause that lady, like we hear these things everyday , I'm like why will my family or anybody decide my own life on what ever grounds, to do that will means that I am not thinking or being reasonable.. such an act is a no no for me can't happen, not from my mom or dad or any body
This particular prompt is a very critical one cause like the example I gave up there its real, I've heard of people who date for years but coming to the point of marriage family disapproves, like what happen to all those years together, if at any point in time any of the couple knew that they would settle with this person what happened to making the necessary prerequisite arrangements for it while in the go....
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For me it's a no no cause of these reasons, like I said for me to allow any of my family members interfere in my relationship or family affairs will mean I'm immature and unreasonable, apart from that I am someone who really don't fancy the issue of third party in my decision making especially in the issue of family or relationship, I am a man and I have my stand on matters that pertains to me...
First and foremost for me why I won't allow any family talk come In between me and my choice of a partner is because this is someone I will live with, not them, I see it to mean a lot of things bringing this old African way of determining a spouse for their son or daughters, meanwhile this is a full grown fully responsible person with the ability to make decisions on their own what's best for them, so to me this is my decision and choice that I've made based on my values, based on reasons that with aligns with my person and no one can come in between that ...
Secondly my family will need to respect my decision, my choice of a partner, this long tradition should be buried and left out, it's not a matter of me choosing between my family and my spouse, its a matter of my decision and respect to what I've decided, look at it this way, I have been with my family long enough till now, it's time I make my own decisions on whom I deem fit to share the rest of my life with, based on lot of factors I consider okay. ....ofcourse tge Bible says a man shall "LEAVE" his father and mother and cliff to his wife and they shall become one...
If it's the matter of making a wrong choice of a person, first I have a strong sense and perception of things, that's not to say I'm right all the time moreover I can have the service of some relationship experts and coach still that is not to say that I'm without reasoning .. just like a yardstick to check out certain things ..
Lastly I will give respect to my family mom, dad or uncle in decision making as it relate to me, but that is not to say that they have ultimate say, theirs will come as an opinion to me to decide, to weight in on, laying side by side their experiences and views then use that to filter out my own decision ... however it mustn't be them deciding its me deciding.....
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