I had mixed emotion writing down my thoughts on this subject. For the first time in awhile, I find myself talking about something I feel like I know but unable to explain. You see, it is easy talk about how certain things should be handled by a parent but when shovel comes shove, you will realize that it is not as easy as it seems. I'm not a parent yet, but from the experience I have relating with children as a teacher, a brother, I must say; it is the most tasking job in the universe.
Some time ago, I watched a movie called Bridgerton, there is a lot to be said about the television series but thinking about this subject, one conversation between two characters came to mind. A conversation between a mother and a daughter; Lady violet Bridgerton and daphne Bridgerton. She was crying and lamenting about what she believed her mother should have taught her about some marital duties relating to sex.
Apparently, she doesn't know how women get to be with child, she knows sex but not the details of how certain things needs to be done before pregnancy can occur. Well, her husband took advantage of her ignorance and denied her the one thing she has always wanted; to have her own children. Her mother's reply really got me thinking, " What did you expect me to do? She was lashing out and as a mother, she was just trying to let her know, there is no other way this could have be done.
There are some things most parent want to educate their children about and they start wondering, how exactly will I explain this? In my own part of the word, it is not a discussion worth having. Frankly speaking, not just in my part of the world only, many parents across the world still have issues tabling this conversation. So instead of explaining in details or creating a structured conversation, they hide the truth behind metaphors, idiomatic expressions and sarcastic jokes, just to hide the complex details about sexual relations.
When is it right to educate kids about sex? believe me, I have no idea. I can't recall my parents siting me down to have the sex talk. Not in structured way, like having sex education, they say things occasionally as I grew older and eventually when I find myself in that situation, then I realized; this is what my parents were talking about. But the truth is, when they said it, i didn't consider it as something meaningful, it sounded like a joke or some word puzzle. It is like they knew, I would understand when the time comes.
Though I would suggest that, children get enlightened about sex before getting anywhere close to puberty because they will start discovering things about themselves. Without the appropriate guidance, some children might consider themselves to be an abomination and start hiding themselves from the world, without knowing that, whatever they are experiencing is completely normal.
How do you approach this in a way that has the most impact? The "how" is one of the things I'm still figuring out because I have no idea. I remember one of my cousins, her parent tried their best in educating her about sex. They were glad that she was exposed to what was needed regarding the subject sex. Well, when she started misbehaving, it turns out that it was as a result of her knowing too much about it. She became too curious for her own good and she decided to embark some wild adventures to confirm what she was taught.
It wasn't funny, at the end; Her parents ended up using other forceful method to correct the errors of her ways. For example, they threatened to barb her hair and they did it twice. They also denied her access to social media, though she found other ways to get it done. Looking at her, I can't really say what went wrong. For parents, sex education is not that easy because you have to do it right; not saying too much and not saying too little.
This write-up was inspired by weekly featured content titled Sex education in hive learners community.
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