One of the things I take pride in is being a big sister to my little sister, and it seems like I’ve been doing a pretty good job because she literally comes to me with everything she has on her mind. And it makes me so happy that she has easy access to me because I’ve been a teen before, and I remember how I made terrible decisions because I went to friends instead of family for advice.
So I’ve been away from my family for so long, and I mostly video call my people whenever I get the chance to. Today, I was speaking to my little sister on the phone, and she said our code word, which meant she needed to tell me something important. I intentionally asked her to go to her room for something just so she would get away from my mom and other siblings.
My little sister tells me the weirdest and wildest of things, but tell you what? Nothing prepared me for the question she asked me today. She looked really shy when she was about to talk, so I was curious because this child is never shy. And then she went like, “Danie, is love supposed to be hard?”
I was so shocked to hear that come out of her 16-year-old mouth, and the worst part was I didn’t even have an answer, so I was stuck for a hot minute. Normally, I’m that big sister who knows everything, so when she saw that I didn’t have an answer to what she asked, she began feeling nervous, thinking she did something wrong. I then assured her that there was nothing wrong with the question, but then I told her I was going to get back to her.
I’ve taught her all that she needs to know about friendships and romantic relationships. And the number one rule I’ve asked her to live by for now, until she’s old enough to figure things out, is to always leave when she feels undervalued and also to let go when she’s hurting for the wrong reasons. Knowing my sister very well, she’s probably going through a hard time with her best friend (male) and doesn’t know if she’s supposed to keep fighting or let go.
I’m not an expert when it comes to love. The only kind of genuine love I know and have experienced is the one from family. I hear people say love is conditional, love is this and that, but I’ve never experienced conditional love from my family. These people love me through thick and thin. There were times I thought my parents would disown me for making certain decisions, but here I am, still immersed in their love.
So unfortunately, I haven’t experienced that part where loving someone or being in love becomes so hard that I have to question if love is supposed to be hard. And although that is a good thing, it makes me sad that this time, I have absolutely no experience to share with my little sister on this. Kindly let me know your thoughts. Do you think love is supposed to be hard?
Images are mine
