Most of the times when you see me, I’m always happy. So happy, like a child who has been given a new toy. And one thing I like about that is how genuine it is. I’m mostly genuinely happy. And this makes people ask me “Why are you always behaving like a child?” a lot.
And it’s kind of funny to me because I’m not exactly behaving like a child, I’m just happy like a child. I don’t think it’s safe to generalize my happiness to that of a child’s overall behavior. Are you guys getting confused? Don’t worry, stay with me. (I was getting carried away for a second.)
Now let’s come to Hive. I think one of the things a lot of people don’t forget about Abenad’s childhood is stubbornness. I don’t hide that I was very stubborn when I was a child. In fact, those moments? Hahhh!! Priceless. But the other part people don’t know is I missed out on a lot of things while trying to be the perfect daughter. So in the house, I was stubborn, but out of the house, I was like princess perfect.
And Princess Perfect wasn’t happy at all. I remember my uncle telling me that if I didn’t stop frowning, I would grow up with a scary face, so I had to start smiling more. But that wasn’t genuine. I am the only daughter of my parents, and growing up, there was this unsung pressure of being very, and I repeat, very prim and proper.
This made me miss out on a lot of things. Oh a lot. I’m trying to recall certain things, and I can’t because I don’t even know what they are called. But I remember one of the things I always wanted to do but never got the opportunity. You know those gum stickers that can be erased anytime?
I wanted to have one of my hand like in the first picture so bad. I would see all my friends put it on their hands and faces, girl! I just had to watch on and act like it wasn’t a good thing. Just three days ago, I got the opportunity to do mine for the first time ever. And I was actually at work doing something very important.
But I stopped just to get the sticker, and it stayed on me till I was taking a bath that evening. The joy! Oh, the joy!!! It felt like an astronaut landing in space for the first time. I know it might sound silly, but for me, it was a big deal.
It’s beginning to feel like I’m living all my childhood dreams that I never got to live. And I think the cool part is now the dreams are the ones coming to me. I’m not even chasing them.
Images are mine